Unplugged, but reconnecting

We have turned out lights out for Earth Hour, though we are still blogging and cruising the internet on our battery powered laptops. Is that wrong?

I was starting to feel lately that things are settling down a bit. I am feeling more energized about freelancing again, and a few jobs may be coming my way.

Connections are more and more important and lately my energy has been focused on connecting, or reconnecting. I think I have been feeling cut off and exhausted for too long.

Monday Morning

Just was thinking about how much we each can influence our personal lives by our attitude and what we decide each day. It reminded me of Don Miguel Ruiz and his philosophy:
"Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth. When we are ready to change these agreements, there are four deceptively simple, yet powerful agreements that we can adopt as guiding principles. The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."

Happiness is a Tidy Linen Closet

I am done with classes for this quarter and it feels good. I took Flash and a Dreamweaver class, back to back, on Saturdays for Winter Quarter. They were both taught by the same instructor at Seattle Central, and they were good. I now have good books with CDs to follow up on so I can keep learning.

And I have filed for unemployment, though I won't be getting a check for a few weeks apparently. They are so backed up at the Employment Security Office it takes them 4 to 5 weeks to process claims, though when I called once last week I was only on hold for 10 minutes.

Spring is slowly peeking it's head out of the dark, cold, frosty burm that was winter. We still could get snow, of course. But the croccus in my yard are glorious, and when the sun shines and the sky is blue in Seattle, there is nothing quite like it.

Being unemployed means I am using my time differently. And that means I can get things done around the house that I have not had a chance to get to for awhile. Like the linen closet. Our linen closet, being small, and the only linen closet, with exception of the inprovised one across the hall in a recessed alcove that used to be for the stereo, has to be perfectly organized for everything to fit in, and if it gets messed up, it is a disaster. Because once it is messed up, we tend to just open the door, shove something in, and close it quickly before anything can fall out. It becomes a mess gradually, and then builds, so that whoever has the task of folding up towels and putting them away starts to dred opening the linen closet door. So the linen closet is tidy, and neat, and I love it.

Bothered

Well, it's been a while since I have added a post. I think I have been feeling unable to write anything because I am upset and grumpy. I just feel bothered by a lot of stuff lately.

I suspect many people are feeling this way now. The news is bad, and there are so few jobs. I actually have felt jealous of people who have jobs. I find myself longing to be at work, at a computer, producing, contributing, typing, filing, layout out a project, calling a printer on the phone for a quote. I miss work. And I feel bad that I am not contributing.

Ah, well. It could be worse. We are OK, really. It's the fear of what could happen that is causing this anxiety, and the loss of the continuum that was work, that was going somewhere everyday, that was a sense of being needed. Needed to do a job.

So I will network, and get creative, and see what I can find in other ways. Freelancing has it's benefits, and can be lucrative if you work hard enough.

Still seeking balance; still needing to find my way a bit.

Pecksniffery

The word of the day is Pecksniffery. This was used on the back of a wine bottle description, stating that they would not resort to "pecksniffery" or something similar to that.

The definition of pecksniffery is a "hypocritical statement". It is a word that Charles Dickens apparently used in his books. It is on old world term, but it is an interesting-sounding word, and is again one of those words who's sound reflects it's meaning. "'Pecksniff' was a character in one of Charles Dickens' novels who was utterly selfish and corrupt, yet hid behind an outer display of seeming benevolence. His name has become an adjective synonymous with sanctimonious and hypocritical."

The Power of Your Word

I am still thinking about balance, and trying to attain more of it in my daily life. With many things being uncertain, I feel this is a constant struggle right now.

I find that even in my daily interactions with people, I often feel that I am not communicating what I really want to say. It's as if I am distracted, and my words are not coming out quite exactly the way I intend them to.

I went back to a favorite book, "The Lost Art of Compassion", by Lorne Ladner, PhD, and found this passage about communication:
"Each of us has tendencies to communicate in ways that don't lead ultimately toward happiness for ourselves and others. The Buddha once gave a discourse to his disciples on how to live a life free of conflicts and problems. He said that before we utter anything we first should know that what we are about to say is 'true, correct, and beneficial'".

This reminds me of Don Miguel Ruiz, and his Four Agreements, specifically the first agreement, "Be Impeccable with Your Word-Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."

The word of the day is Balance

Balance is the word of the day. One definition is "stability of one's mind or feelings". Sounds good.

This reminds me of the documentary "Man on Wire". It is obviously about balance, but it also is an example of how people manage to stay emotionally balanced in times of stress, chaos and uncertainty. The man who walks across the wire that is strung between the twin towers is the ultimate example of balance, and all that has led up to that moment.

Seeking balance, practicing balance, striving for balance, observing balance. How many things can we balance at one time? One too many, and we lose our focus and then we become, God forbid, "unbalanced".

It's all about balance.