Goodnight Dad

Dad passed away today. He was in ICU after having suffered septic shock, which means he had an infection in his blood. His organs began shutting down, and he was on life support and a ventilator to breathe.

It was hard to see him. He was on pain medication so he did not feel any pain. He did not look like himself. In the room the sound of the ventilator kept going at a steady pace, making it seem almost peaceful.

But it wasn't. It was sad, and somewhat lonely to be there, even though we were all there as a family surrounding him. After a while the kids went home. Patrick stayed by mom and I.

This has not really sunk in yet. I am glad dad went peacefully, and that I had a chance to kiss him goodbye. I wish I could have talked to him one last time.

Living 91 years is a pretty amazing thing. He had a good life, full of adventures, some of which I'm sure I never heard about. He struggled in his life in different ways, but he worked very hard to be a good father to me. And he was. I always knew that he loved me no matter what. As a parent now, I know that is the best gift you can give your child.

Goodnight Dad. I will always love you.

More Snow

OK we got more snow. Went to the mall today on the bus with Sarah to finish up Christmas shopping. The bus was very crowded on the way back. Many people were coming home from work. I do appreciate the winter-wonderland scene, but it would be nice to get the car out and be able to get around quicker.

Dad

Dad had surgery today to repair his broken hip. He fell in his hospital room yesterday morning, and took a very bad fall. His face and one arm is bruised, and he hurts alot.

He was out of surgery sooner than expected and will be in his room this evening at the hospital. Mom and I will go visit him in the morning.

The weather around here has been challenging, but today I got out and was able to drive around as needed. Tomorrow I am hoping the roads won't be any slicker. We are expecting more snow Sunday, and wind. Oh boy.

Life is so exciting sometimes.

Sarah's Scarves

My daughter, Sarah, has been busy knitting scarves for her friends to give as Christmas presents. Each scarf is about 4 inches wide by about 5 feet long. Everyone she custom made for each friend according to the friends color preferences. Aren't they beautiful!

Snow All Around

It snowed most of the day yesterday. We've got about 3 inches on the ground around here. Other areas got as much as a foot! It may be possible to drive today, I need to get up to Stevens Hospital to see Dad. He fell and broke his hip and will be having surgery this afternoon.

Yesterday Dan and I braved the streets and walked over to the post office and to Safeway. Was icy but didn't fall! It was beautiful, and cold.

Lights for Warmth

It's snowing outside and we are snug inside. It's a good day for writing Christmas cards and cleaning up the house.

Today my dad will have a pacemaker put in to regulate his heart beat. He went to the emergency room yesterday because he fainted. They discovered this irregular heartbeat and figured out that is what made him pass out. Fortunately when he fell he did not get injured. So I'll be going over to the hospital later. In the snow. I'm glad my little van has front wheel drive.

Can't wait for this year to end! If ever there was anticipation and hope for a new beginning, this is it. I am looking forward to new opportunities, and I hope I can keep my attitude in a positive mode. Bush has caused so much damage in so many ways, and all he gets as payback are a couple of shoes thrown at him.

The Last Day

Well I am now officially unemployed. I had a strange and emotional day with people coming by and saying farewell, lots of hugs and good wishes. Now it is all sinking in and it's a sad feeling, coupled with anxiety and shock. Even though I saw it coming, I still feel a sense of emptiness and disbelief.

I have plans, though, and come Monday will get to work revamping the resume and making lists. I can see how this can become a new beginning, a time to make a fresh start doing something else, and taking time to take care of other things as well.

I think it's hardest leaving people behind. A lot of good friends that I probably won't see much any more. Every day you go in and spend this time with people you work with and then suddenly it's all over. It's like going cold turkey when you don't have something you are used to.

This economy is having a terrible ripple effect on so many lives right now. I know that our family is actually really lucky because our situation is not that bad. We have resources, and we are pretty careful, and we will get by. I fear for the people who are already on the edge, and then find themselves in a desperate situation.

I will grieve, then I will move on and keep busy. I will network and keep the connections that I can, and make new ones. I will make this a new start.