The Wallflowers

Well, it's been a while. I was just thinking about how we see ourselves in the world. It has come to me that I have seen myself as the wallflower for as long as I can remember. Somehow on the outside, hoping to fit in. Hoping to be asked to be included.

And when I have been included, it feels priveledged.

I struggle to understand this. I do not spend lots of time thinking about this. But in the darker times, in the gray areas, in the more introspective moments that come from an emotional blow, or a heart ache, or a dark moment, I think and know that this is where I see myself in my core.

Perhaps all humans are like this, in their core. We seek connection. To look someone in the eye and feel as if you are heard. To really listen to someone. To take the time. To care.

So in our world of technology which we all embrace so eagerly, willingly or skeptically, or fearfully...but most of us do come around. We lose ourselves, but gain a fake connectedness that brings us thrills, for a time. But the connection that we really long for is still ellusive.

I am the wallflower. I always have been and probably always will be. I wonder if we are all wallflowers. If we are all waiting at the side of the dance floor, for a connection. Looking for that connection that was once there, but left, with no explanation. And of the times we left someone standing alone, across the room, without even thinking that the wallflower was there, feeling things we could not be aware of, and going on with our own lives, unknowing. The wallflowers among us; the wallflowers that we are...so the thing to is to reach out, when in doubt. When in doubt, reach out.