The word of the day is Willy-Nilly

Willy-nilly is the word of the day. OK, it's two words. Actually it's a hyphenated word. But it is fitting for this day because too many of us try to do too much, and end up wasting more time than we think, as in "Running willy-nilly all around won't help you make any progress."

Think on it.

The word of the day is Snarky

Snarky. I heard someone use this word this morning, and now it's stuck in my head. I like this word, and I think the sound of the word reflects it's definition. Must be a word for that, too.

Reflections on a Fancy Funeral

I like the lyrics of Lucinda Williams song "Fancy Funeral", that I have posted below. It is a true reflection on the desire to get back to what is really important, and to say, in the moment of importance, hey, this is how I feel and we don't need to follow a path that leads us into mass consumption and ridiculous spending. It's the memories of the person, holding the person in your heart, never forgetting, recalling the little things you loved about the person that keeps you intact, keeps you from feeling such a deep sense of loss all at once.

The song is also about the pressure some families must feel who really can't afford all the expected funeral extravagances. I know that religion plays a very important part for lots of people, but spending money will not matter to the God of your choice. Showing your love can be done with caring, and taking the time to be present for that person.

The words are not as effective in print as they are when sung by Lucinda with music, but you can get the idea.

Some think a fancy funeral will be worth every cent
G           C                              C
But every dime or nickel is money better spent
G                                          G
Better spent on groceries or covering the bills
G                     C        Em             G
Instead of little luxuries and unnecessary frills

G                                        G
Lovely yellow daffodils and lacy pillow fringe
G            C                     C
Pretty little angels for everyone to see
G                                   G
Lily of the valley and long black limousines
G                            C           Em                     G
It's three or four months' salaries just to pay for all those things
G                                                       G
So don't but a fancy funeral, it's not worth it in the end
G                      C                                     C
Goodbyes can still be beautiful without the money that you spend
G                                                           G
There's no amount of riches that will bring back what you've lost
G                 C        Em      (NC)         G
To satisfy your wishes, no way to justify the cost

A Beautiful and Weird Day

It's been a beautiful day and got alot done. Had a nice walk through the park this morning. Then I received a phone call from the visiting nurse that mom was not answering her door. The nurse was concerned enough to call 911 and the paramedics showed up and got the door open by cutting the chain lock and mom was sound asleep in bed. She woke up with several paramedic guys in her bedroom, including the fire chief. "What are you doing in here?!" she exclaimed. It's not every morning you wake up with big, strong paramedic guys in your bedroom.

We are all glad she is ok, and I'll be checking with her doctor tomorrow to see if her meds should be adjusted. It's not like her to sleep that soundly and not hear the phone or someone knocking at the door.

I'll be helping mom again tomorrow, going to Everett to take care of probate stuff. I am hoping to get my letter finished this weekend. Wish me luck!

Looking ahead...

Mom got out of the hospital on January 24th, and the next day we had the memorial for Dad. It was a nice turn out. I feel sort of a sense of relief or closure now. Mom seems depressed. Today I am taking her in for a check up/follow up with her doctor. I will ask about counseling, or perhaps they can suggest a grief support group.

I have lots of tasks on my list: update resume, do homework, clean the house, look in on mom. Defenately a full plate. It is harder to get things done when the structure is not really there. I guess that is why I miss working every day. It provided a sense of accomplishment, even if I didn't really want to do it!

I am determined to make this a good and productive week. And take better care of my back! (physical therapy in Wednesday). Must take care of myself, too.

Mom

Mom has been in the hospital since Tuesday, since having sort of a fainting spell Tuesday morning. We are all grateful to her Avon Lady, April, who happened to be there delivering a cosmetic order, and noticed that mom was not doing ok, and called 911.

Mom was worried that she would not be out of the hospital in time to attend Dad's memorial, which is scheduled for Sunday, Jan. 25th. I told her to just think about getting better. She is also concerned that she won't have time to get her hair done. A girl has to have her priorities.

But the doctor said she will probably be out by the end of the week. We're hoping for the best.

It has surely been a strange, and stressful ride these past several weeks. I know stress is just part of life, but high doses can be toxic.

I am looking forward to the memorial, to seeing friends and family, and hoping for at least a little bit of closure about Dad. I don't feel like I've had time to really feel what I should be feeling. I want to take some time to reflect, and just "be". It hasn't been easy to do that. I guess it will come with time.

And then I have to look for a job.

Sunny Day Hike

Yesterday was beautiful and we went for a hike. We walked about a mile through the shady woods before we got to the beach. The sky was gloriously blue, and it actually felt warm near the water. I saw an eagle, or it might have been a hawk, flying high above us to the towering pine trees that over look the shore. There were a few people walking their dogs there on the beach. We ate our sandwiches while looking out at the water. These sunny days are so few lately, it seems like a vacation just to be out in the sunshine, and see the blue, blue sky.